Drunk and Retarded

Friday, February 13, 2004

FUCK ALL YOU BITCHES!!! YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD ME BUT I'M TOO SMART FOR YOU!!! ANY SIMPLE-MINDED JACKASSES WHO BELIEVE THAT COTE CRAP WILL NEVER OUTSMART ME!!!

Thursday, February 06, 2003

The Cotist birth myths

In almost all large-scale (i.e., hegemonic) theologies, supernatural events surround and metaphysical significance is ascribed to the birth and formative years of the founders. Such embellishment sometimes even extends to nationalist heroes, like Caesar and Napoleon. The obvious intent is to validate the system's commandments and strictures by assigning them a divine origination. Christ, my ass hurts. Cotism, of course, is rife with such myths. For example, it is generally held in most denominations that the Coté was born to a virgin father who was visited by a angel in the form of a blinding bearded snake. But is there more here than just an effort to establish ultimate authority for staying up late or assassinating your coworkers? No, it seems the blinding light element is common to many and how can people of any era eat the shit they're shoveling down at Pancho's in 2003? You barbarians deserve Him.

Sunday, February 02, 2003

A brief etymology on His name

In the lone film of screenwriter Mahatma Jane Keeves, The Bank Dick, a scathing exegesis of the Summa Contra Gentiles disguised as a slapstick Shemp Howard vehicle, a minor character known as a tippler goes by 'Edgar Sousé.' Similarly, it seems obvious that the pseudonym Coté is a deliberate play on 'coat,' that which envelops and protects. 'Coté as protector' is a common theme in D&R, most obviously evidenced in the parables of the uneaten enchilada and the mistaken decimal.

Thursday, January 30, 2003

Musing over the unabridged entries, I must admit there are a few gems of wisdom, such as:

'Now I will be the master of my TV.'
-- 12/4/2002

Aha! We have been spotted! No matter; a lifetime spent fighting the Cotist scourge has prepared me for a showdown with the master Himself. I hope to show, using His own words, the fallacy of Cotism to those who would blindly follow Him.

Pardon me if I seem alarmist, but your world will end in a mere 30 years, due in large part to this insipid weblog and its equally insipid author, this man:

"The man will align moons and liberate millions,
all while never leaving the wet bar."
--Josh Knowles

"Never return null.
Never accept null as parameter."
-- NoNullBeyondMethodScope

"I sit down at my desk to evaluate
my options. I could declare the
day a waste and wander down to
FastMart for a forty of malt liquor.
That would be ridiculous, but
would have a certain amount of style to it."
-- Josh Tales

"Good cooking takes time.
If you are made to wait,
it is to serve you better,
and to please you."
Quoted in The Mythical Man-month

"The information age
offers all of us the power
to bore people with the details
of our own existences."
--"Magua"

"Our continuing policy
is that the Web doesn't
need more advertising
experts blaming the state
of the medium for their
own failures. It doesn't
need more pundits
looking to put our
Banner Years behind us.
What the Web needs is more
monkeys. "
--"La Vache Qui Rit,"
suck.com

"The rest of the year will
be marked by three distinct
trends -- or Drifts, or
Developments, Plagues, Fads,
Fashions & certainly inescapable
Realities: LARGE BREASTS,
THIN WALLETS and ENORMOUS
FEAR of BILL COLLECTORS.
These will be the Primary
Drive -- energies behind
everything else that happens in 2001."
--HST

"Coté, when you drink,
the whole world drinks."
--Kim